Get a Real Job or Divorce

A 21-year-old woman is seeking advice from the Reddit community after giving her husband an ultimatum about getting a “real job” and improving their living situation. 

The woman begins the post noting the young couple have been faced with a series of career changes, financial struggles and living arrangements that have left them feeling uncertain about the future. 

Initially, they lived in an RV in his father’s backyard, with the promise of a house being built for them as the poster became pregnant at 19. However, their plans quickly changed as the husband decided to change his career. 

“My husband dropped out of college and decided he was going to be a personal trainer,” the wife explains. This decision led to a pattern of starting and abandoning various career paths, including welding inspection and online schooling. Throughout this time, the husband’s father provided financial support, giving him $800 a month. 

The wife’s frustration grew as her husband explored different avenues without significant financial success. Eventually, the husband found work as a pitching coach for baseball, but the income was still insufficient, she writes.

The poster expressed her concerns, stating, “I told him that he needs to get a real job that has insurance and other benefits, or the ability to purchase them, as we’ve had no insurance since my Medicaid and my daughter’s Medicaid ran out.” 

The husband’s response to this request was not what the wife had hoped for: “He got furious and said, ‘You don’t believe in me!’ but that’s not what I said at all,” she adds.

In the meantime, the wife has been taking steps to improve their circumstances. “I went to school for a medical cert and have been looking for a job,” she notes, adding that she has registered for online schooling to pursue a teaching degree as well.  

But, childcare issues have complicated her ability to work, as her husband “wouldn’t let me put our daughter in daycare and wouldn’t stay home with her.” 

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Despite the conversation, the living situation has remained unchanged, with the family still residing in the RV two years later. The lack of progress recently led the wife to take drastic measures. “I have left him and told him that if he doesn’t secure a job within 180 days (PLENTY of time) and help me find another living situation… that I will divorce him.”

In response, the woman writes that her husband replied, “You’re not going to make demands of me.” Now, the woman is wondering if she was wrong for issuing this ultimatum. 

Many Reddit users have supported the woman, saying she has to look out for their daughter. Others are encouraging her to start smaller. One user writes, “Instead of starting with a full regular job perhaps encourage him to finish his college and consider a part time teachers job.”